Give Yourself a Gift

Happy Holidays and congratulations to República Argentina. That was the first World Cup Final I ever watched, so I’m 1 for 1 in watching the greatest World Cup Final of all time.

Seriously, I thought I was done posting for the year, but then I had a thought: This is the season of reflection and giving. So, briefly, I want to close out 2022 with a few comments. What did you expect from me? I’m a writer. There’s always more to say.

First, a plug: If this newsletter has been helpful to you, dear reader, then please know that you can gift a premium subscription to any writer, creator, or other person who you think might be helped by it. This newsletter is partly about my writerly thoughts, but at its core, I’m trying to pass along some of the good information and vibes that allowed me to step into this writing life with both feet. Premium subscriptions help support the production of this space. Who knows? I might actually be able to take on paid interns at some point like those super-fancy newsletters. But for now, it’s just moi.

Next, personally, I think New Year’s resolutions are overrated. I like the idea of setting goals, yes, but so much of the process has become rote, commodified, marketingized(?). Is anyone not trying to lose weight, stop smoking, save money, etc.? We put on resolutions like a sweater that we discard by February before the weather has begun to warm. Here’s something that works for me...It was an idea given to me by a friend and mentor who would have us write down goals on a sheet of paper. Then at the end of the year, she would mail those goals to us. When I opened the envelope, I would find a few things I didn’t achieve, but invariably I’d see several big-ticket dreams that I made come true. I recall one year when a goal was to publish at least two stories in literary journals. On reflection, I realized that I published two stories and two essays, in addition to other gains. This confirmation of desire was validating and liberating. I could do good things if I held myself accountable.

Whether you have a friend mail your goals to you or not, now is a great opportunity to consider what you want to do in 2023. These are not resolutions. They are plans. Do you want to get writing degree? Find an application to the university of your choice and set a deadline on your phone to apply by February 1. Do you want to write a book quickly? Maybe do like John Grisham who starts a draft on January 1 and finishes it on June 1. He’s done this every year since the Reagan administration, I think. Seems like it’s working out for the young man. Do you need community? Make a list of people at your level and a list of possible mentors. I have a friend who reached out to several active, legendary writers. Most of them agreed to speak with her. I’m sure those relationships have benefited all parties. Do you need an agent? Do you need to work on your living situation? Do you need to find more time? Do you need to work on your mental health? All of these problems are opportunities that can be addressed with some creativity and a few deadlines. I don’t think it’s entirely fair, but I do believe it’s true that most writers have situations that block or lower their productivity. Family responsibilities, debt burdens, low self-esteem, etc.

In short, the kind of person who can solve these personal issues is the kind of person who can publish a book. The door to writing and publishing a book can only be opened once one directly confronts the goblins guarding that door. In other words, the writing life is a hero’s journey. You’re on a quest. You must be willing to set out into the unknown against incredible odds to make it to your destination. But know that allies are waiting to join you on the path. You’re never truly alone.

Lastly, and maybe this is the most important message I want to share, drop the negative self-talk. I think I’ll do a full post on this in the new year, but here’s the gist. It’s normal for writers to have doubts about our ability to tell the stories we want to tell. And most of us chastise ourselves when we fall short of our expectations, which is also normal. We’re our own worst critics. But it’s not normal for a writer to doubt their ability to be writers. I’ve written and talked at length about how writers are a certain kind of human. Just like birds. Some of humans are fast, some have beautiful plumage, some can sing, and some are great at mimicry. But unlike birds some of us write. Non-writers don’t daydream about writing anymore than worms dream of drinking eggnog. To want to write is a sure-fire sign that you’re a writer. And if anyone has ever told you that you have the gift, that bit of external validation means something. What it all means is that you shouldn’t poormouth yourself or your writing. Fish don’t swim poorly. Birds don’t fly badly. And writers…I’m not saying that everything you write is brilliant, but I am saying that everything you write is writing. By its nature, all writing can be improved. Any energy you waste calling your writing bad or yourself dumb is wasted energy and, frankly, selfish. The world needs your words, but they only get your words when you get out of your own way. So write as much as you can, use positive self-talk, and for goodness sake, have fun doing it.

Alright, that’s it. I’ve been taking suggestions for newsletter topics over on the Substack app chat. Y’all have offered some great suggestions. Please keep them coming. Happy holidays to you and your loved ones. Let’s get ready for a healthy, productive, and fulfilling 2023! Ayee!